


like this, forever

by blackbirddan



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2010 Era (Phandom), M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:15:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22166986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackbirddan/pseuds/blackbirddan
Summary: 2010 is going to be a big, scary, wonderful year.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 11
Kudos: 62





	like this, forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ahappyphil](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ahappyphil/gifts).



Phil yawned and stretched, his arm coming to rest across Dan’s chest. He left it there, taking a moment to simply enjoy the fact that Dan was here beside him.

“We should probably get up,” said Dan, his voice scratchy. 

“Mmm,” said Phil noncommittally. “I guess. In a bit.”

“I mean - I don’t really want to, honestly,” said Dan. “So if you want, we could just - stay put?”

Phil smiled.

“I was hoping you’d say that,” he yawned again, kicking at the covers where they’d tangled around his legs.

Dan had arrived yesterday, and they’d spent what Phil admitted to himself was a shameful amount of time since then lying in bed. Dan’s last visit had only been a week before this one, but Phil was painfully aware that once he left, he wouldn’t see him for a month, while he was on his family holiday to India.

A _month_. They hadn’t gone more than two weeks without seeing each other since they’d met, and to add insult to injury their first Valentine’s Day together would fall right in the middle of it. Something in Phil ached unpleasantly when he thought about them being apart for so long.

His mum had noticed him moping, and when he’d finally admitted the reason for his sour mood, she’d chirpily said _the time’ll fly by_. He’d managed not to roll his eyes, but only just.

He and Dan hadn’t been able to talk quite as much as usual between his visits, either - Dan was still on his law placement, and was having to leave the house at seven in the morning to commute into London. This meant their late-night Skype marathons had to be cut short, at least for now. Phil was making an effort to get on the call earlier, wolfing down his dinner and disappearing back to his room, but it was never long enough.

Add to that the fact he’d had a headache he couldn’t shake for a couple of days, and cuddling up in his warm bed with Dan had seemed like the best idea in the world.

“Can’t believe I have to work again in like, three days,” said Dan in a monotone.

“Don’t,” said Phil. “We still have the weekend.”

“I know,” said Dan. “Sorry. I just - it’s shit. The job.”

“Isn’t it your future career?”

“Not what I’m doing now,” said Dan. “I doubt many lawyers are doing document scanning, or filing.”

“Lawyer Dan,” said Phil. Dan sighed.

“There are two words that should never go together,” he said. 

Phil twisted around to look at him properly, propping himself up on one elbow.

“You say stuff like that a lot,” he said. “Are you sure it’s still what you want to do?”

“I dunno, Phil,” said Dan quietly. “But I figure - just gotta finish the degree, right? Then I can decide. I can do something else as a career if I want, once it’s done. It’s only a few years.” He shifted closer. “A tough, shitty few years, but it’s not forever.”

“I suppose,” said Phil. He’d loved both of his courses at uni, and couldn’t imagine slogging through four years of a tough degree that he hated. 

“Should be hearing something soon,” said Dan. “It’s just so weird to think about how much my life’s gonna change this year.”

Phil tried to ignore the stab of anxiety he felt at Dan’s words.

“Mmm,” he said. 

“What?”

“No, it’s just - I guess mine will too. I mean, I know I have to make some choices about stuff soon, before my parents drive me insane with questions - I guess I’ve sort of ignored it recently because of, like, you and everything.”

“Yeah, me too,” said Dan. “It’s sort of felt like I was almost living a second life. Like, I have _this_ part of my life, when I’m with you, which is amazing, but then the rest of it is shit. It’s like a weird limbo the rest of the time, waiting to see you again, waiting for something to happen. I guess - this year I maybe want to actually make those things happen, instead of waiting for them?”

By the end, he sounded uncertain, and Phil snuggled closer.

“You are doing that,” he said. “You’ll find out about your uni soon, and then we can really decide.”

“Decide?”

“Yeah, like - where are we gonna live?”

“Where are _we_ gonna live?”

“I know you’ll be in halls in first year, and you might want to do the whole student house thing after that, or whatever,” said Phil. “But if you’re at uni in the south somewhere then I dunno if I’ll want to live in Manchester like I’d thought about. If I’m working, and you’re at uni, we wouldn’t be able to visit as often, and - ” He plucked at the fabric of Dan’s t-shirt. “I really don’t want to do this whole distance thing for another four years.”

“What, you’d move?”

“I’ll probably be moving this year anyway,” said Phil. “Just dunno where to yet.”

“But - don’t you want to stay in Manchester?”

Phil paused. He _did_ want to, in fact, not just because he knew the city and liked it but because it was still close to his family. Was it a bit sad, he wondered, for a man of twenty-two to still want to live near his parents?

But he’d loved York, as well, and while it hadn’t been that far from home, he could deal with being a bit further away for a few years. Being able to see Dan every day would make it worth it.

“I might be able to stay in Manchester,” he said eventually. “You might get in.” 

Dan snorted.

“I don’t have the grades,” he said, sounding resigned.

“Yeah, but didn’t your careers advisor tell you to apply anyway?”

“Yeah. Apparently I aced my personal statement, and they thought it might be enough along with my references. I can really bullshit like a pro.”

“Well, there you go. Wait and see.”

“I almost don’t want to think about it,” said Dan. “It’d be fucking amazing. And it probably won’t happen, so, like - ”

“Yeah,” said Phil. “But whatever does happen, we’ll figure it out.”

Dan took his hand.

“Like, what I was saying before,” he said. “I want to have this,” he squeezed Phil’s hand, “in all the parts of my life. I don’t want to have, like, incredible-Phil-part for a few days and then shitty lonely parts for the rest of the time. I know we talk all the time, and I love it, but it’s just not ... you know?”

Phil did know. While he liked living with his parents, and he loved making videos, lately he’d increasingly felt like he just wanted the days to pass quickly until he could see Dan again. 

“Yeah,” he said, resting his head on Dan’s shoulder. “I do.”

They were quiet for a moment. Phil focused on the rise and fall of Dan’s chest, feeling Dan’s fingers playing with the ends of his hair. His head was still sore, and despite the determination and optimism of everything Dan had been saying, he couldn’t help but wish they could just stay here forever, warm and cosy in his childhood bedroom, just the two of them.

“I know you aren’t certain about law,” he said eventually. “But I really - I just think the way you’re going for it anyway is amazing. And I know you can do it if you want to.” Dan’s fingers stilled in his hair.

“I wouldn’t say that just yet,” he said. “I’ll probably fuck it up, somehow.”

“Nah, you won’t.”

“If this job is anything to go by, I will.”

“It’s like you said,” said Phil. “They’re giving you boring things to do. You’re too clever to be doing, like, filing.”

“At this rate, I might be too clever to be flipping burgers. Actually, I might enjoy that more - at least I’d get free food out of it.” He leaned his cheek against the top of Phil’s head.

“Thanks, by the way,” he said. “The clever thing.”

“It’s true.”

“I … guess. Yeah.”

Every time Dan stopped being so down on himself and took a compliment, it warmed Phil’s heart. He rubbed his cheek against the soft fabric of Dan’s shirt, and breathed him in.

“Sorry,” he said. “I might doze off again.”

“That’s okay, I might too,” said Dan. “Does your head still hurt?”

“Nah,” lied Phil.

“Good,” said Dan around a yawn. “I can stop worrying.”

Phil opened his eyes for a moment, then, and looked at Dan. His eyes were closed, and he looked peaceful, beautiful - happy. He leaned in and kissed him, unable to help himself.

“Mmm,” said Dan sleepily as he pulled away. “Don’t start something you can’t finish, Lester.”

“The next time we wake up,” said Phil, pulling the duvet back up to his chin. “I’ll - finish you.”

Dan laughed, the sound bursting in the quiet room.

“Uh - smooth,” he said. “And I’m suddenly not tired, wow.” 

“Yeah, you are,” said Phil. “Later.”

“Fine,” said Dan, rolling onto his side. “Still recovering from earlier, anyway.”

Phil snorted.

“Yeah,” he said, the memory making him smile. “Me too.”

He wouldn’t sleep for long, he knew; they’d been napping on and off for most of the day and they’d already slept in that morning, but he allowed the warmth of his bed and Dan’s body to soothe him into a light doze. It was a new decade, and their lives were going to look very different by the end of this year, but if he could start and end his days like this, he thought, he could handle whatever this decade had to throw at him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Reblog [here](https://blackbirddan.tumblr.com/post/190137345211/fic-like-this-forever) on tumblr. :)


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